My dog doesn’t like peanut butter

Last night I went to a poker tournament at a co-worker's house. While there, I was wearing pants that tend to ride a bit low and a t-shirt. While sitting down and leaning forward at the poker table, my shirt rode up a bit and their dog came up and licked the top-most portion of my butt crack.

I won the tournament and told the hosts that their dog had licked my butt crack and that I was going to steal their dog.

Pretty much a great evening all around.

I can't wait until next Monday. I'm packing the back of my pants with kibble.

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  1. Matt on September 12, 2006 at 5:42 am

    Special thanks to Allison for spreading the story of Johns butt crack being violated by her dog. Surely this blog wouldnt have been posted if it wasn't for everyone in the office already knowing, and chuckling about it. And just for clarification, I dont think its considered rape if the person on the receiving end enjoyed it.

  2. charles on September 12, 2006 at 6:30 am

    So the dog tossed your salad and all you will give him is some kibble…you should be ashamed of yourself for not offering, in the least, a little bit of beggin strips. Here's to your continued quasi-rape by a canine.

  3. jm on September 12, 2006 at 6:37 am

    Funny story, but I gotta shake an image from my head now. Thank you for NOT posting a picture or other imagery, that would have scarred me for life.

  4. Allison on September 12, 2006 at 6:54 am

    Um, yeah. The going rate for plumbing tongue is $50 per lick. Will that be cash or check?

  5. Robb on September 14, 2006 at 7:58 am

    Our dog is requesting you bath before attending this week. She has been coughing up undigestible dingle-berries all week.